We’ve all experienced moments where our thoughts run away with us. A missed call becomes “they must be angry with me,” or a small mistake turns into “I always mess things up.” These patterns of thinking, while common, can contribute to distress, anxiety, and low self-worth. In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), we call these cognitive distortions—and learning to spot them is a vital step in improving emotional wellbeing.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are biased ways of thinking about ourselves, others, or the world. They often happen automatically and feel true, even when they’re not supported by facts. These distortions affect how we interpret situations and can reinforce negative emotions or unhelpful behaviours.

In DBT, we don’t judge thoughts as “good” or “bad.” Instead, we’re curious. We observe the thought, ask where it comes from, and consider whether it’s helpful. If it’s not, we look for alternative, more balanced ways of thinking.

Common Types of Cognitive Distortions

Here are some of the most common distortions we work with in DBT:

• All-or-Nothing Thinking: Seeing things in black and white. For example, “If I’m not perfect, I’ve failed.”
• Catastrophising: Jumping to the worst-case scenario. A small issue becomes a disaster in your mind.
• Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking, often believing they think badly of you.
• Emotional Reasoning: Believing something is true because you feel it strongly. “I feel anxious, so something bad must be happening.”
• Overgeneralisation: Drawing broad conclusions from a single event—“I was late once, so I’m always unreliable.”
• Should Statements: Placing rigid expectations on yourself or others, like “I should always be calm,” or “They shouldn’t have said that.”

These thought patterns can contribute to intense emotions and drive behaviours that don’t align with our goals or values.

How DBT Helps with Cognitive Distortions

In DBT, we use skills from several modules—particularly Emotion Regulation, Mindfulness, and Cognitive Modification (which overlaps with what’s taught in DBT’s individual sessions)—to help clients identify and challenge cognitive distortions.

1. Mindfulness: We start by increasing awareness of our thoughts. Mindfulness allows us to step back, observe our thinking patterns non-judgementally, and notice when a distortion has taken over.
2. Check the Facts: This is a skill from the Emotion Regulation module. It teaches us to pause and ask: “What are the facts of this situation? Is there another way to look at this?” It helps ground us when our thoughts have become skewed.
3. Dialectical Thinking: DBT is all about holding two truths at once. Instead of “I’m a failure” or “I’m amazing,” we might say, “I made a mistake, and I’m still a capable person.” This reduces black-and-white thinking and opens up space for compassion and flexibility.
4. DEAR MAN & Interpersonal Effectiveness: Many distortions show up in our relationships. By practising assertiveness and setting boundaries clearly, we begin to challenge assumptions like “If I say no, they’ll stop liking me.”
5. Wise Mind: When we’re caught in a distortion, we’re often in Emotion Mind. DBT helps us access Wise Mind—the integration of Emotion Mind and Reasonable Mind—so we can make more balanced decisions.

Why It Matters

Cognitive distortions can quietly shape our worldview, often without us even noticing. They can contribute to cycles of self-criticism, emotional dysregulation, and conflict in relationships. The good news? With practice, we can learn to recognise these patterns and shift them.

Changing the way we think takes time. It’s not about suppressing or “getting rid” of negative thoughts, but learning to hold them more lightly and consider other possibilities. DBT offers a practical, structured approach for doing just that.

Final Thoughts

Everyone experiences cognitive distortions—it’s part of being human. But when these distortions dominate our thinking, they can keep us stuck in patterns that don’t serve us. By learning to notice, name, and challenge distorted thoughts, we give ourselves the chance to see situations more clearly and respond more effectively.

At DBT-UK, we support people to build lives worth living—and that often begins with how we think. If you’re curious about how DBT could help you or someone you care about, get in touch today.

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