When emotions are running high, the STOP skill from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) offers a powerful way to take a step back before reacting impulsively. Whether you’re stuck in traffic on a hot afternoon or feeling overwhelmed in a crowded summer event, learning to STOP can help you regulate your emotions, make wise decisions, and preserve your wellbeing.
So, what is the STOP skill?
STOP is an acronym for:
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S – Stop: Freeze. Do not just react. Stay where you are.
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T – Take a step back: Breathe. Take a break from the situation.
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O – Observe: Notice what is going on inside and around you.
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P – Proceed mindfully: Act with awareness. Make choices that align with your values and long-term goals.
This deceptively simple sequence can be a lifesaver when emotions rise quickly—especially during the unpredictability of summer.
Summer: A Season of Triggers (and Opportunities)
While many look forward to summer as a season of relaxation, the reality can be quite different. High temperatures, disrupted routines, more social events, and sensory overload (think crowds, noise, sunburn!) can all take a toll on emotional regulation. Even “fun” activities can be emotionally taxing.
That’s where the STOP skill comes in. It’s a way to pause and ground yourself when you notice you’re feeling emotionally flooded, irritable, or disconnected. By pressing pause, even for a few seconds, you can prevent a spiral and move toward more skilful behaviour.
Here’s how you can weave STOP into everyday moments this summer.
STOP in Real Life: Everyday Uses of the Skill
1. In the queue for ice cream… and someone cuts in
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Stop: Notice your instant anger or irritation.
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Take a step back: Breathe. You’re still going to get your ice cream.
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Observe: Is it really worth getting into a conflict? How’s your body feeling? Hot? Tense?
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Proceed mindfully: Maybe it’s a mistake. Maybe it’s not. But your peace is more valuable than a dispute.
2. You’re sweating, late, and stuck in traffic
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Stop: Don’t pound the steering wheel. Don’t yell.
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Take a step back: Inhale deeply. Feel your back against the seat. Exhale slowly.
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Observe: What’s happening in your thoughts? Are you catastrophising? Is the delay really that bad?
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Proceed mindfully: Use your wise mind to decide how to respond. Maybe play music, call ahead, or just accept what is.
3. You’re at a BBQ and someone makes a comment that hits a nerve
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Stop: Resist the urge to snap back or retreat completely.
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Take a step back: Ground yourself. Maybe step away to get a drink or use the loo.
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Observe: What did the comment bring up for you? Is this about now, or something deeper?
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Proceed mindfully: Choose whether to respond, ignore, or set a boundary later—based on your values, not your emotions.
Using Nature to Help You STOP
Summer also offers unique opportunities to support your use of the STOP skill. Being outside can enhance your ability to pause and observe.
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Sit in the sun mindfully. Take a few minutes to feel the warmth on your skin and the breeze on your face. This sensory grounding helps with the Take a step back and Observe parts of STOP.
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Take mindful walks. Whether it’s in a park or just around the block, use the time to slow your thinking and connect with your surroundings.
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Use water wisely. A cool shower, swim, or simply running your wrists under cold water can help you reset physically and emotionally.
Practising STOP Before You Need It
Like all DBT skills, STOP is most effective when practised regularly—not just in crisis. Try setting a reminder on your phone to STOP once or twice a day. Pause, take a breath, observe how you’re feeling, and continue on with awareness.
That way, when you really need it—when the heat is rising, emotions are flaring, or life feels too much—you’re already familiar with the steps.
Conclusion
The STOP skill isn’t just for major meltdowns. It’s for the small, everyday moments when you’re tempted to react without thinking. Summer brings its own mix of joys and challenges—but by learning to pause and proceed mindfully, you can stay grounded, connected, and emotionally resilient.
This summer, don’t just power through the stress. STOP. Breathe. Choose wisely.
For more information on
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
Contact DBT-UK
info@dbt-uk.co.uk | +44 (0) 7541 458 851
